Choices

Just oh-so-briefly glancing around the interwebs, I saw that “Choices” is becoming a pretty common theme. I’m actually gratified by this, as so many folk seem to be living with the thought that they have no choice.

Even when the only choices you have are bad ones, you still have choices. And to imagine feeling there is none? Well. I, personally, would find that very frightening.

To begin and kinda explain where my little pea-brain is coming from on this one, let me relate to you a tale of two sisters. Hey, good line that one, eh?

The first sister was my biological sister, eight years my junior. Without going into great detail, I’ll say that I knew that woman from the time her umbilicus fell off while I was changing her diaper, until the day I had to stand and deliver her eulogy, just after her 30th birthday. In short, after a tumultuous childhood, she ended up in prison, having become strung out on heroin. She went in to prison jaded, strung-out, emaciated. She came out grinning, clean, and overweight. But she learned a great deal about herself in there; one of the things she learned was her control over her own destiny. “Really,” she said to me during a conversation after she got out, “if you think about it, we’re all writing our own stories. We think we’re just acting in them, but really, we’re writing them as we go. So I just decided one day I didn’t like what I was writing, and that it was time to change it.”

That woman would have never have hesitated to stand, and continue standing, for something she believed in. Argue with you? Oh, no, not really. She’d just go about doing whatever it was she had in her mind to do. That’s it.

The second sister is a sister-of-my-heart. Met her online, then met her in person (yay!), and from the first time we started talking, it was as though we’d known each other our entire lives. That connection, it was intense. Unfortunately, she is married to a very very bad man; if he doesn’t display every symptom for a clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then I’ve never met anyone who does — and I was married to one of those for 10 years. Eventually, things came to a head because I wouldn’t let him play King of the Hill; if I disagreed with him, then I disagreed with him. Now, understand, in Isende-world? Disagreements are acceptable, and even encouraged. Disagreement breeds new thought, new ideas. So I’m all for it. But this man? No. It ended up that he engineered an online battle between he & me, with our other halves along for the ride. And he … well. To say he’s called me the C-word more than once would be an understatement.

After that event, I thought, and I realized that I could not maintain a relationship with him anymore. Further, I was unwilling to ever again have either his wife, or my husband, dragged into a dispute between he & me. I would not tolerate that again! However, the healthy decision to cut him out of my life would absolutely impact my relationship with this sister-of-my-heart. So, did some more thinking. Options, I said … it’s all about options. I wrote her a letter, and told her that I felt it necessary to remove myself from his life, and I understood that her maintaining a relationship with me would make her life hell at home. So, I told her, I’m cutting off contact. If you need me, you know where I am, but you don’t need to worry about me interjecting myself between you guys. Her reply was “You left me no choice, and so I’m doing what you want.”

Now, to be fair, she acted exactly as I thought she would; she took the easy option. See, it is all about the options. The choices. There’s an old saying, “We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way.” That’s an apt saying. In this case, what played through my mind as I offered her this option was the sure knowledge of how my biological sister would have handled things. She would have laughed, rolled her eyes, then picked up the phone and called me, as though she had no clue what I was doing.

Choice. Option. Easy way, or hard way. The easy way for the second sister was accepting my giving her no choice. The hard way, which would have had to factor in her life at home with her husband, as well as possibly debating with me, would have been to reject my option.

This is the beginning of what I mean about choices; in this blog, I’m going to cover several avenues of thought about good choices vs. bad choices. In the next one, I’m going to cover how we apply our power of choice to our everyday lives. I’m gonna have fun with that one!

So. Let’s really dive down into this topic, shall we? In short, the purpose of this blog is to empower you. Each one of you, reading this (all three? four? lol) has far more choices than you’re probably accustomed to thinking you have. I mean, we spend our formative years in school learning how to sit down and shut up; then we go to secondary school and continue that behavior. Then we graduate to adulting, head out into the real world, snag that cushy job … and continue sitting down and shutting up. Truth is, we’ve been perfectly groomed for following our fearless leader(s) (boss? husband? wife? polititian?), so how can we have also learned about personal choice — personal accountability?

Let’s play with a couple of scenarios. One of them was originally contributed to me by my first husband; other than two amazingbrilliantsuperbphenomenal daughters, it was about the best thing that man ever gave me. It follows thus:

You’re walking down the street, innocently appropo of nothing … when someone slams into you. As you catch yourself, shocked, you turn to see who/what happened to you, and if they’re ok. But as soon as you turn around, they’re in your face, yelling at you for not watching where you’re going.

Now, stop here. Don’t think about the other person, think about yourself, right here. Imagine your mental (and physical — your sympathetic system probably got a huge rush outta that!) state at that moment. Uncertain what happened, no clue why someone’s in your face yelling at you. What do you do? Well, that’s where the choice comes in. You see, most folk would say “I’d get pissed!” or “I’d be scared!” — but that’s what you’d feel, not what you’d do. There is a difference. Reality is that there are some people who respond to everything on a hair trigger; they re-act. We’ve all heard about them, or known them, and so we assume there are a lot of them. In my life, however, I can honestly say I’ve only known a handful of these people, and I’ve known a great many people, in some fun and not-so-fun experiences. So if you add up five, or let’s be generous and say 10 of these people, out of the thousands I’ve known in the course of my 49 years, you’d realize that that’s actually a small number.

Some of us freeze. Some of us look for the quickest way out of here. And some of us look inside ourselves and ask, “What am I going to do right now? Am I in immediate danger? What’s the other person look like — angry, or afraid?” I’d almost instantly assess as much information as I have on hand, then immediately run through about a dozen scenarios, playing off most-likely-possible outcomes, until I figured out an approach … then I’d open my mouth. Oh, wait, I’d step backwards first, raising my hands in front of me in a placatory gesture. Honestly, my mouth would be opening just as my front foot was meeting my back foot in that backwards step. You see, I’m what’s called hyper-vigilant, and that is its own fun, but somehow or another I’ve picked up the knack of making almost-instant assessments that are action, of some sort. I have learned that I function better when I have a direction to be moving in, any direction!

What would I say? Who knows? “Are you ok?” or “Can I help you?” or “I’m sorry, do I know you?” to “Oh, wow, my bad, I’m sorry!”

The point of this blather is that each of those questions represents a choice I’m making. Each one represents, as well, the choice to not just slug this jerk who’s trying to blame me for his clumsiness! Do I best defuse the situation with belligerence, concern, curiosity, confusion, or apology?

Now, let’s turn it around. You’re the person on the other end, the one who smashed in to me, seemingly out of nowhere, and then got up in my face, blaming me for your inability to walk and chew bubblegum. What’s going through your mind? What are your choices, as this person? Here, again, many would say “There is no choice.” Why? Because at this point you’ve already made an arse of yourself, so you need to save face by not backing down. Honestly, read that aloud, and explain where it makes sense. It makes more sense, in our reptile brains, to hurt ourselves and/or someone else than to say “Oh, wow, my bad!” Anyway, there are still choices. At this point, you can refuse to listen to the other person, walk away, continue screaming at them, or listen to them, stop, think. Yeah, I know, apparently this person’s in a really bad mood (or crazy), but to say they don’t have a choice in their behavior because of their mood? Puh-leeze!

So that’s scenario #1, and it’s as brief as I could make it, so if you have thinks to add to it, I’d love to hear’em!

Scenario #2 is a bit more brutal and ugly, but it more clearly, in my opinion, demonstrates those times when the only possible choices are bad. I’ll go ahead and warn you — it’s graphic. But there are situations in our lives that occur which will force us in to making choices that are this emotionally harrowing. Entering a situation like this knowing you have the power to dictate your own behavior may be the only benefit you have, and it’s a very important one. It doesn’t mean you’re going to get off without pain; it does mean you have the option of doing everything in your own power to mitigate that pain.

You’re home, your young child playing in the living room while you’re messaging your partner about dinner plans. All of a sudden someone comes out of the kitchen behind you, walks between you and your child and points a gun at the child’s head. “Drop and suck me,” he instructs you.

Now, stop here. Again, imagine the emotional and physical state you’ll be in. Your mind will be racing, trying on and discarding scenario after scenario after scenario. Physically, you’re ready to flee or fight; your child is threatened! Fighting’s the more desired option, but you may cause your child to be hurt or injured. What, in this situation, are your choices?

Well, let’s take’em from the top:

  1. Do what he says
  2. Do what he says, and in an appropriate moment reach up, grab his cojones and bite down
  3. Grab the nearest thing at hand and throw it at him, hoping he’ll react instinctively and block whatever’s coming toward his face (YES, AIM FOR THE FACE!)
  4. Lunge toward him, given you’re within a couple of feet, and fall into him, hoping he misses your child
  5. Scream
  6. Scream and do nothing
  7. Cry
  8. Cry and beg him not to hurt your child
  9. Attempt to dial 911 on your phone without appearing to be doing so

In short, there are at least nine choices you have, but not a single bloody one of them is good. I guess we could say 10, if we add in “Enter a catatonic state” …

Ugly choices. Choices like making your kid eat PB&J every day this week so you can pay for their school lunches. Or like taking that third job and being gone even more, so that you don’t lose your house and/or car. Or like deciding if you can sleep in your car, shower in your work’s gym, and save up enough money not lose the car, maybe eventually rent someplace …

Ugly choices. These are the ones that most often freeze people. I think part of the reason for the freezing is what I’ve said above; we’ve not been taught that it’s acceptable for us to make decisions for ourselves. From the religious community trying to dictate our morality to the government trying to dictate our obedience, we’ve been inculcated for decades now to follow the rules. Be a good little citizen, do what you’re told, and we’ll do all the heavy lifting for you. We’ll tell you what’s funny, what’s news, what’s important — you just go earn & then spend your money, and hey, don’t make waves, k?

I think this is certainly a part of it. But I think it’s also got to do with so many other things; a desire by many to step away from having to make decisions; a significant breaking down of our educational priorities; an increase in the number of over-medicated children; an increase in the number of broken homes. Yeah, lots of other things. But see, this is the important part, right here. Because you’re reading this right now, and might choose to read it again if you decide you want to, you’re already processing the fact that you have options. You’re waking up to the fact that your world is so much bigger than you thought, even just five minutes ago. And what that means is that, from this moment right now, you can begin writing your life. You can begin considering what your actions will be, rather than your reactions (and at some point I intend to cover that topic, as well!). You realize that yes, knowing you have choices means you’re going to be responsible, now, for your actions; but it’s worth it to know that you can now direct your own life.

Ok, let’s take a moment here. Heady stuff, eh? That last bit is really important to revisit for a paragraph or so. Because that’s probably the biggest reason we don’t realize we have choices. It’s willful ignorance. As long as we can say to ourselves, “I had no choice,” then whatever happens isn’t our fault. It’s not our responsibility, and we don’t have to deal with it. Well, actually, yeah, we will have to deal with it in some form, but in a very passive (easy) form. Knowing that you can willfully act, rather than passively react, means that you can’t just pretend (at least to yourself) anymore that you had no choice, that it wasn’t your responsibility.

That fear of failing in that responsibility can be crippling, but it can also be overcome. Because you’ve seen it now, and because you’ve recognized it, it’ll come back and play through your head at inopportune times. But it will bring you peace of mind. Because you learn how to make choices based on risk, rather than on hope that bad things won’t happen.

One of my favorite-and-most-hated authors, Robert Jordan, had a character named Lan Mandragoran. I’m probably misquoting it, so I apologize, but this character had an outlook on life that helped to teach me how I wanted to shape my outlook. One of the quotes I remember oh-so-well was “Do what you have to. Just be willing to pay the price.”

I’m going to wrap up part 1 now, and just let you reflect on that quote. Or, if you’re a Jordan fan, you can correct either my reference, or my quote — or both! Chat atcha later!

“Us”

Us. Like, you, me … and between us we have this third entity I’ve just simply named “Us.” I came up with this theory some years ago; the above picture shows an overlap of “You” and “Me,” with that overlap being where “Us” resides.

I think that picture’s on the right track, but it’s a little bit … off. How do I mean? I think a better picture would show a bubble of “You,” and a bubble of “Me,” and between those two, a separate, individual bubble that’s “Us.” So what’s the difference? The difference, in my little pea-brain, is simple: Overlap implies a loss of one or both of the individuals. My way has a little bit of a different application.

Ok, now that I’ve got that first part out of the way, I’m sure you’re scratching your head, asking yourself “Ok, sure, but what’s that got to do with SJW and all that rot?” Good question, glad you asked! I suppose I could respond that without understanding how my little pea-brain views the world, you can’t understand why I believe that a cogent description of “Us” is the beginning of putting things on their correct footing.

So, let’s imagine a scenario. There’s me. Bouncing along in my happy little hippie Isende-world, dreaming dreams of bringing peace, love, and happiness to the world one person at a time. Then, say, there’s my DH, bouncing along in his happy little music-filled DH world, focused on his dreams of bringing peace, love, and happiness to yours truly. In the above picture, he and I would essentially bleed over into each other, with our ways of being blending and meshing. I don’t think that’s quite right. What I do think is that our “Us” was born when we began interacting. With my view of things, our “Us” requires feeding in order to grow and thrive. As it was fed by my responding to his needs, and his responding to my needs, it grew and began to assume its own shape/flavor/color/whatever. Don’t think permanent shape/flavor/color/whatever, either; each “Us” fluctuates daily based on what it’s fed. And for the record, I also believe there’s another “Us” between me and each of my friends, and that “Us” has its own flavor, separate from each other one. In other words? Each person you interact with is an opportunity to develop a new, unique “Us.” Nope, I got no scientific anything to back up the fluff I’m tryin’ to sell you … just a lot of experience. Anyway. Each interaction between my DH and myself then feeds or starves our “Us”. In order for we, as a couple (or as friends, or whatever the relationship) to thrive, our “Us” must thrive. It must be fed a steady diet of affirmation, love, respect, courtesy, care … all those warm fuzzy feelings that give me the squidgies! Ok, no, I’m not the most warm/fuzzy person out there, even if my goals are peaceful!

Anyway. Per my view of things, if we’re careful of each interaction; if we strive for each interaction to be positive; if we treat each and every interaction as though it’s necessary for the survival of our relationship, then our “Us” is going to thrive. If, on the other hand, I treat him abusively; if he discounts me or the things that are important to me; if I don’t value his input; if he doesn’t respect my wishes … if these things aren’t carefully, consistently, and lovingly managed, then our relationship itself will wither and die.

That’d be very sad-making for me.

Now, how does my concept of “Us” apply to this whole SJW thing? Simple. There is an “Us” that exists within every single relationship, even if it’s just a very temporary one, say, with the clerk behind the cash register at the store. And each impact on the “Us” between you & whomever impacts a life.

Just think about that a moment.

So, let’s take some rude woman who shoves her way in front of you at the check-out counter. Do you think she’s caring, one least little bit, about any ephemeral “Us” between you and herself? Of course not! This is what allows her to be rude. However, now that I’ve mentioned it, and you’ve read it, I can bet you’re thinking about it! This, then, presents several options. Do you ignore her behavior? Honestly, I suck at that. If someone’s being ugly, I try to call them on it. But then that puts responsibility on me; since I think this “Us” thing is real, does that mean I shouldn’t call her out? Oh, what wicked quandaries I run in to when I overthink things! Seriously, though, there are several choices available to me when I deal with her.

The very first question I must ask myself is whether I really care about the relationship that’s been established between myself and Rude Woman. I mean, I may not, ya know? I may just choose to shrug it off and go about my day without consideration for her actions. I can do that. Hey, guess what — so can you!

The second question I always ask myself is what I expect the outcome to be, if I do call her on it. Do I expect her to be remorseful? Do I expect her to care? Do I want to see her apologize? Do I want to just be rude right back to her? My motivation in this instance is critical — not to her, nor for her, but to me and for me. You see, it comes down to expenditure of energy for me. If I call her out for being rude, with an unrealistic expectation (say, of her remorse), then I’ll likely be disappointed as I’ll have expended energy trying to get her to see things my way. But if my little pea-brain says “Hm. She may be having a bad day,” then I could just quip something simple like “That’s ok, I’m not in a rush,” and deliver that statement with a completely sincere smile. You see, karma will love me for that one, and if Rude Woman is having a bad day, I may have given her an opportunity to realize she’s being rude, and the opportunity to apologize. It’s all about my intent, my motivation, even if I choose to react to what she did, rather than just ignore it.

Yes, I’ll be writing a post about choices at some point too. That one’ll be fun, trust me!

Anyway, back on to the topic of “Us.” Even if it’s not quite a good representation of the energy that’s shared among individuals, I think it’s close, and it puts the responsibility for my part in each and every relationship I have squarely on my shoulders. And that ain’t such a bad thing, all things considered. It allows me to step back and consider some important factors, chief among them being “What, if anything, do I choose to contribute to this interaction?” When we step back and think this to ourselves, our position will often change. We go from being isolated to, all of a sudden, realizing that as much as Rude Woman impacted me by pushing herself in front of me, I can also impact her, or I can choose not to. I can impact her in a beneficial manner, a benign manner, or in a confrontational manner. I can give back to her the same level of callous disregard she gave to me, or I can take that, reshape it, and give it back in a manner that might just help her. Who knows?

“Us” is an important factor in each and every interaction we have ever had, or will ever have. If you’re wondering why your relationship with whatever other significant person in your life is sucking, I’d say begin with yourself. What are your expectations? What are your goals? Are you actively feeding your “Us” things that will help it grow? Are you the only one feeding your “Us”? Is your friend/partner/whatever also working to feed your “Us”? Is he/she contributing things that will help your “Us” grow, or are they contributing things that will cause it to stifle, wither, shrivel up & die? Both people in any relationship are necessary for your “Us” to thrive, and both people need to be equally committed to its growth; if you’re not, it ain’t gonna grow, and you’re gonna be wondering again why it didn’t work out.

What can you do to harm your “Us”? You can not listen — and for what it’s worth, Google the difference between hearing and listening. I’m sure I’ll write about that at some point in the future, as well! But you can not listen to them. You can not care about their wants, their needs, their dreams. You can want to overpower them, or intimidate them, or make them reliant on you. You can drive off their friends. You can be rude to them. You can, in short, put yourself before that other person in your interactions. This’ll starve your “Us” for sure!

On the other hand, how can you feed your Us? You can listen. Reach out. Touch. Hug. Laugh. Call or text or email when you’re thinking about that person. If they call or text or email you, respond. If you can’t right away, be sure you do later. Don’t let anyone think they’re unimportant to you — if you value that relationship. Years ago my DH came across this article about relationships. Responding to these bids feeds our “Us”.

What we tend to not realize is that most interactions are bids, of some sort, for a reaction. So what was Rude Woman’s bid? Did she truly not care? Was she asking for attention? Did she even realize she was making a bid? Who knows? But her actions created a situation; we have discernment (even if we don’t realize it!), and we can choose our response. I believe that, choosing our response within the context of “Us” can open up more pathways than we may’ve thought. I mean, seriously, most of us would find it entirely appropriate to respond to Rude Woman with the same callous behavior she exhibited. For me, to do that would be making another choice — do I descend to her level? Because if I responded to her with her level of rudeness, I’d be giving back to her exactly what she gave me.

Each interaction with people gives me the opportunity to do that, or to rise above that. I’m curious to see if this can help with your interactions with people around you; loved ones, friends, strangers — you name it. Best wishes!

What’s this whole SJW thing anyway?

Greetings! I am Isende (eye-sen-day). I know, difficult to figure out how to pronounce, but that’s ok. I speak phonetics 🙂 You can also call me ‘Sende; see what I did there? Removed one complete syllable by simply removing one letter! Yeah me!

I have been thinking about what to blog, how to blog, why to blog. I believe I have perspectives that, perhaps, being shared, will help others. Long and short of it, that’s my goal. To help others. Why? Certainly not altruism! No, it’s because I want the world around me to be a happier, easier, less-stressful place to live in. And if I can effect some form of change, small or large, by penning words … why not try it? Keep in mind; to me, my happiness is my responsibility, yours is your responsibility. However, my being happy can impact you, and vice verse; isn’t it time we became aware of this, but from a slightly more enlightened perspective?

Caveat — cuz ya know, you can’t write without having some! I’m not an expert in anything except being me. I’m not an expert on social issues, nor on the complexities involved in them, nor on the ways & means of handling them. What I am is a human who’s aging, which means (hopefully!) gaining experience, and that experience shows me, more and more, that we are all inextricably linked one with another. It’s also shown me that while there may be a “common” understanding of some things, there’s also a common reality; not all things are what they seem. For instance, there are multiple different schools of thought in feminism. It’s not enough, anymore, to label someone a feminist; shouldn’t you also know which brand of feminism they’re espousing? How can you adequately argue with them if you don’t really understand where they’re coming from?

Anyway. To begin, I want to talk about responsibility. It is the premise I operate from in pretty much everything I do — what am I responsible for? Where do my responsibilities begin, and where do they end? What, exactly, is responsibility, and how does it play out in our lives? If you watch the following video, you’ll see where I came up with the definition I now currently espouse — responsibility is having an ability pertinent to a situation, then deciding what one’s response to that situation can be. The video is of Richard Pimentel, an Army Veteran who served (thank you!), and a man who has since been an unequivocal advocate for the rights of what we term “Disabled” folk; you can see his video here: clicky to watch! He says, “Responsibility isn’t what someone else puts on you. Responsibility isn’t your job description. Responsibility isn’t a paper you sign. We all find ourselves looking at situations … and we all find ourselves with abilities. And what we have to ask is, ‘Given my ability, what then will be my response …?”

He asks an amazingly important question, and I believe it’s important for each of us, also, to ask this question. What are my abilities? Given any situation, what are my potential responses? Which will be of the most benefit to myself and those around me? Or, in the case of many of our first-responders, military personnel, and so on — Which will be of the most benefit to those around me? Notice that “me” has been taken out of the latter equation. I will likely discourse, at some point, on species survival vs individual survival, but that’s not today’s post.

Next, I want to talk about SJWs. You know, those lovely Social Justice Warriors whom, we presume, just want to beat us over the head with sticks and rub our face in what we should be doing/thinking/saying, without actually doing/thinking/saying those things themselves. I looked up SJW after I got lambasted in a game forum (yes, I’m a gamer!) for being an SJW. At the time, I hadn’t heard the term. The situation was this: one of our participants on the website for a new game was requesting that the character creator have a slider option for muscularity of characters — male and female. I don’t recall if this player was male or female and, really, I think it’s irrelevant. What is relevant is that, for this person, having the ability to pump up the muscles was a very big deal, whether their characters were male or female.

Oh, wow, the backlash this person received! As they posted pics of their past characters, they received comments such as “I’d puke if I saw a woman who looked like that!” to “No one should be able to make a character like that, it’s too ugly!” and so on and so forth. Now, to my simplified way of thinking, who cares? Am I paying this gamer’s fees for the game? No? Well then I don’t really have any right to tell them how to play, now do I? Nor does anyone else. Further, if I have the right and ability to create a character I want, the way I want it to look, shouldn’t everyone else? So, of course, I piped in with the above question, and was instantly slammed by one of the more vociferously toxic players with the epithet “You’re just an SJW!” And each time I projected an opinion, I received a variation on the same theme. I asked him once if I was supposed to be offended; what do I know, right? Let’s just forget for a moment that I choose what to be offended by, and he just wasn’t cutting it!

Me being me, I had to go look up SJW. Remember, I still had to figure out if I should be offended or not! Then I had to go look up the history of SJW. I mean, I’m fairly well-read, but I hadn’t come across it yet. In essence, once upon a time, an SJW was literally what it sounded like — someone who stood up for others’ rights, or their own. Nowadays, it is more of a bad name. It’s applied to people who stand against anything, it seems, that someone else is standing for. So if someone’s standing for oppression and you say “No oppression!” you can be called an SJW, just as well as if you’re the one standing for the oppression. In essence, it’s a way of attacking someone for countering your opinion/belief/etc.

Why, you’re asking, does any of this matter? Remember the above, about responsibility? Well let me throw another wrench in the works, ok? It’s a quote by Marcus Aurelius; if you don’t know who that is, feel free to go visit Google! The quote is:”Men are born for the sake of each other. So either teach or tolerate.”

We are social creatures; in order to thrive, we must interact with others. I am quite an introvert, but I still require friends in my life. Other people I look up to, whose opinions I wish to gain, or whose experience I wish to emulate, or what-have-you. I’ve also been described (and self-described!) as a hermit; I love being in my own home. However, I also love entertaining others in my own home. Let me cook for people and I’m happy! When I receive any services; when I have to do a job; when I interact with clients; when I talk to my neighbors … in all these instances, I must interact with others. In fact, I looked up jobs with no social interaction. The following link lists some of them: click me, click me!

Yet, each of those jobs at the very least has a boss, and has a customer. In other words, people. In yet more words — social interaction. It is still possible, I’m sure, to completely isolate oneself from people. But for most of us, social interaction is normal, it’s expected. We know we’re going to have to engage in it. So what, then, will our position be? Will we strive to assist or to hinder? Why? What’s driving each response? What’s our ability within these situations? What are the beginnings and endings of our responsibility, within these situations?

These are the things I intend to write about. Further, it’s my goal to bring SJW back to being a description of good people, not a description of people who’re combative for the sake of combat. Yes, I know; long shot, right? I mean, that’s no small undertaking. But a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and this is my first step. Let’s see where it takes us, shall we? It is my position, and one I’ll continue to try to share, that we get more out of helping/supporting/building up than we’ll ever get out of tearing down. That’s what I intend to promote; that’s the Social Justice Warrior I intend to be.

I welcome comments. I also welcome criticism and correction; keep that in mind for future writings. Also keep in mind that I’m aware of my own abilities and limits. In short, you wanna be toxic, trollish, or any other yucky behavior, and I have the right to refuse to respond to you. Arguments do, after all, require two statements (or people) in order to occur. Oh — for those who don’t understand the statements part, think mathematics 😀